In my Midwest home, there was no hanging of a mistletoe
or trimming of a tree
It wasn’t cold outside
so no need for a fireside.

Christmas seemed less special without the snow.
But on the eve of Christmas, St Olaf choir helped spread the spirit of Christmas.
The radio station talked more about the sales in stores on Christmas day than the birth of Jesus Christ.

Surely there was the sharing of gifts and greeting cards,
but if your pockets were dry during the holidays, you may feel the pressure.
It’s Christmas, even without family or friends to shake hands and exchange gifts.
Its Christmas even without a tree and burning candles
I had to make a conscious effort to stop with the material wishes
and acknowledge that Christmas is the celebration of Christ, then I took it church.

What are your thoughts on Christmas? How did you celebrate it?

Feel free to write your own answers on the comment section.

I set a goal to lose 2 pounds in 24 hours. This sounds really easy right? I dare you to try it. I picked up my birthday package from my dear friend, and it was a dress that was so beautiful, if only I didn’t look so wholesome in it. I called a friend who is a gym rat/ex trainer and asked him if this was possible? “He said yeah. do some cardio, eat only bars and minimum water. You may be hungry and dehydrated, but you will look good in that dress”.

I started my hard work at about 6pm. Had a 100 calorie bar for dinner and went to the gym. An hour on the treadmill was fun while reading the men’s magazine “muscle fitness” MF for motivation. Besides the pictures, there were a few important quotes that motivated me from MF:

“TV WILL KILL YOU, the idiot box has it out for your heart”

“Without fiber, meat will sit in your gut and Rot”

“Train 3 times a day”

Apparently “Tim Kennedy” an American mixed martial artist who currently fights for the MMA promotion Strikeforce exercises 3 times a day and eats less than I do on his training days. ‘If Tim can do it so often, then I can do better for just one day’ I thought. I just thought of  how easy it would be to study anatomy and physiology if students had someone like Tim as the model instead of a picture in a book. I pushed myself further. Spent 30 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes doing regular pull-ups and lat pulldowns. I was really tired and I wanted to go home, but the lady beside me was on the elliptical for over 2 hours now and she had to be at least twice my age. Hmmm, what would Tim do? I got back on the elliptical for another45  minutes before I felt like I could go no longer. I was running on minimum food and water.  I went home and slept like a baby. First thing in the morning, I had a banana and a half cup of water and went to the gym. It was 10 hours before I had to fit in my beautiful blue dress.  I could not believe who I saw at the gym; it was the same old lady that was there the night before. I regret not asking her if she also had to fit into a dress. But i was glad she was there, she was my motivation for the day. I put in a good 3 hours at the gym, doing about 200 pushups, and 50 pull ups as well as running on the treadmill. I felt accomplished, but I was freaking out when I was walking over to the scale, thinking ‘what if you didn’t lose any weight and all this was for nothing?’ before I had time to think of an answer, I was already climbing the sale.  It was one of those digital high-tech scales that are in gymsmainly for decoration. in any case I had lost 1.5 pounds. I did a little dance on the scale and got on the elliptical for another 30 minutes hoping to drop .5pounds.  I laughed at myself as I realized how vain I was being and how obnoxious my mission was. I had lost 1.5 pounds in 24 hours probably from not drinking enough water, but I was going to fit into my dress nicely. I prayed that if I ever had a daughter, she should be shrouded from such bhags. On the other hand, I praised myself in setting a goal and almost achieving it.

It was time for my dinner party and the dress fit as perfectly as I had hoped, but I did not wear it. I wore a different dress. All that for nothing you may be thinking. But it was fun!

It’s been 3 weeks since this bhag took place, but I am still having chest muscle pains from the lat pull ups that I did. So was it worth it?

Bhag Is a city located in Bolan District in the Balochistan province of Pakistan. Bhag is also “Big hairy Audacious goal…“…an audacious 10-to-30-year goal to progress towards an envisioned future.” as invented by Jim Collins

If you love Classical, Rock, R&B, Gospel music, and you believe in love or just lovely music, you may enjoy my little list. In no particular order, here is a list of songs I think are great for weddings, engagements and other long-term ‘lovey’ type stuff. If you don’t know it, please google it, bing it or youtube it:) for you shall enjoy it.AMEN.

1. Tuface- African Queen (If you’ve ever been to Africa, then be sure to view this song, the lyrics are beautiful)

        Menstruation is a very intricate process involving many different hormones, the sexual organs and the nervous system; yes it affects your brain.
Hormones influence menstruation. If you have great insurance, you can afford to ask a doctor to measure the hormones in your blood to find out if your hormones are out of balance. But what is ‘normal’ varies greatly; blood tests are not a particularly good measure of what can be considered much more subtle imbalances in a woman’s cycle. If you start crying more than normal, or feeling extremely angry or/depressed. Your hormones are fluctuating. You know yourself best; you can try to regulate your hormones by eating right, sleeping right and exercising. Weight also influences hormonal balance and menstruation. Been underweight or overweight can stop menstrual cycle. So watch out if you’re trying to make babies.
           Stress also affects the hormones. Many women find that if they are worried about something, it can influence menstruation. In some cases, a woman’s period might actually stop if she is very worried about whether she is pregnant. Stress is not good. Exercise and healthy food habits can help reduce this. Women should take care of themselves. Cut off anything stressing you out, unless it is worth losing some years of your life. Especially during pre menstrual period, when some experience severe anxiety and depression, known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder – PMDD. Take care of yourself women. It’s okay to be selfish at this time. Say No to stress.
           Regular exercise, keeping fit and eating healthy can help regulate the menstrual cycle. To reduce painful and stressful periods, avoid caffeinated and sugar drinks especially cola. Avoid stress, relax, get a massage. Taking a walk might help better than lying down. But you know your body best, take care of it the best way you can.

Last Friday I took a 30 minutes’ walk to my campus downtown. The sky was so bright, i couldn’t believe it was 40 degrees and raining just yesterday. So I had to walk. But also, my ‘sexi lexi’ was at the mechanics shop, so i didn’t have the option of driving anyways. After a couple of hours in school, I felt like I was on a vain mission, my mission was impossible. The reason I went to school was to speak to my advisor and it didn’t go as well as I planned. My walk back home didn’t seem so blissful. The sun was still bright and shiny, but I didn’t see the sun anymore. Head down, thinking I can’t wait to get back in bed and have dreams that were perfect; in my dreams everything goes my way. Then my eyes caught someone falling. I immediately got out of my pitiful state and ran over to the man. “Sir are you okay?” in my Igbo accent.( When in shock or angry, my true African self takes over). The man didn’t answer, I didn’t know what to do, so I called my friend and asked her what she would do, and she said call 911. Duhhh!!!. Anyway I called 911. The officer on the phone said it will take 15 minutes and I can stay around the guy if I want, but if I had to go, that’s fine. I said I’ll stay. Because, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Then I got off the phone, found a shade and was chilling. The man suddenly wakes up after about 5 minutes, and looks at me and screams, “you’re so beautiful, come here”. I was like “Eh! Waka! I spent my t-mobile minutes calling 911, and this man is just drunk at 3pm.” You know how much it cost to call 911? The man gets up and starts heading towards me, I ran away and crossed the road. I figured he was smart enough not to attempt crossing the road, because if he falls in the middle, he could get run over. I didn’t worry for too long, because he slumped back on the floor, hitting his elbow then his chin, I heard him groan and pass out again. I remember thinking “that’s going to hurt”. At that point, a young teenager showed up and was capturing a video of the guy to upload on Facebook. I figured my shift was over, so I left.

Fridays jaunt Part 2

I only went a couple blocks when I ran into a young lady, she was looking for the Somali mall, but she was heading the opposite way. When I told her she was about 10 blocks off, she was almost in tears, she told me she lived very far away and didn’t know the area; she was very frustrated, so I offered to walk with her to the mall, since it was kind of in my direction and I know how it feels to feel lost. I remember thinking “I hope this woman is not about to pull a scam on me, cause I will go Jackie Chan on her o!”.  I am normally very skeptical about helping conscious strangers, but she reminded me of my dear aunt, I had to. I kept thinking of all my karate and tai chi moves I learnt in college PE if I was cornered or something…( I’ve been watching too much criminal minds). Fortunately, it was a pleasant uneventful walk. First she spoke about the war in her country and how she escaped and I listened. Then I lectured her on the roads of downtown and how the buses work, even gave her the transportation help line. When we got to the mall, she was very excited; she bought me a scarf which I first refused. But she said it would make her sad if I refused it, and insisted, so I took it and headed home.

Fridays jaunt Part 3

Okay so I’m thinking what a day! As I shuffled through my purse for my apartment keys, my French-speaking neighbor opens her door and says something in French. I was surprised because we hardly exchanged greetings.

I took 3 years of French a decade ago, so I only know how to say a few words including “I don’t speak French”. From her gestures and the few words she was saying, I understood that she needed me to write a letter to her lover in English. I so badly wanted to ask her why? And how? she would fall in love with someone so far away that she could not relate to, so late in her life ( she must be in her forties), but obviously I did not know how to translate all that to French. Moreover, I heard that love haveth no boundaries. Anyway I invited her in, and called my friend who is very fluent in French and English. She helped bridge the gap a little, but she was in a hurry so half of the letter was translated properly (I think), but the other half I had to be creative. But I wasn’t sure if her lover was a he or a she, we used those words like they meant the same thing, so I used my best judgment. When we were finished I wished her luck in her love life, gave her my internet password and showed her a translation website to help her in the future.

Later in the day I kicked it back with friends and they couldn’t believe how my day went from nothing to a consecutive series of events.

I went to a boarding school. A great school which I am very proud me. It taught me most of the morals, etiquette and discipline that I have and I hope to teach my kids some day. However the food was awful. Way worst than prison food ( as seen on TV).I do not know what it was that we ate during meals, because I hardly ate any. Almost all the boarding students had what we called provisions. This is how we survived. My parents will send me to school with a box filled with cookies, baked goods, grains, canned foods, spices, powdered milk, anything that was tasty, kind of nutritious, and didn’t go bad quickly. This literally saved my live. The best combination of provs in my opinion was peak powdered milk, cerelac and sugar. Just thinking about it makes me crave some. All of my friends had at least these three things in their cupboards. All you need is a cup of CERELAC. It is really quick to make, easy and fast to swallow and sometimes you can drink it up in a couple minutes while hurrying out to class. Now when the desirable is not available, you can easily substitute cerelac with the always available garri aka OTO and imagine it to be cerelac .(delusional, but it works) Boarding school is not always easy, but with cerelac, you can make it through the day. I think the owners ‘NESTLE’ market it directly to kids, but they apparently have no idea who their biggest consumers are; Boarding school students, especially FGGC Owerri girls.

Aunty: Sweetie how are you in that foreign land?

Me: I am doing ok, still trying not to look too foreign you know.

Aunty: Don’t forget who you are though. So any eligible candidates? You know all your cousins are married here. I haven’t heard anything on your side o!. Have you even met anyone?

Me: Aunty slow down. I met a guy

Aunty: Thank God. I was beginning to think it was a curse on any girl that travels abroad. Tell me about him.

Me: Well he is a gentleman not of African decent though, addicted to nicotine, gambling and has no interest of furthering his education. ‘Free Spirit’.

Aunty: Jesu Christi! Have you told your parents? What do you like about him then?

Me: One question at a time Please aunty its not a big deal yet. I will wait until it gets serious to tell my parents. He is handsome, catholic, cares about me and is financially stable.

Aunty: Thank God. Please just tell your parents the last part only. Okay? I will pray for you.

Me: LMAO…Yes aunty.

please check out Wole Soyinka’s poem titled telephone conversation